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10/4/03

Well, things haven't turned out to well for my friend (or former friend) and I. I'm not sure what exactly is going on, but I do know that it isn't really good. The next time I'd seen her she had forgiven me, but she still apparently doesn't believe that I hadn't said what she thought I'd said. That just sucks. Things, of course, aren't the same at all... we have lost something, and I have a feeling we won't soon find it, if ever at all. It's interesting, because I look back and see the many many little things and coincidences that led up to the big bang... and it really does seem so unlikely that so many things could just happen to occur at the right moments to make such a shitty thing happen. I guess the same could be said for lots of disasters... a mix of coincidence and bad timing can be very very dangerous. I can't help but feel deeply saddened by all of this, because it's bad enough to lose a friend... but to lose a friend over something so insignificantly stupid is horrible. Right now I'm also mourning the loss of what I'm sure would have been an awesome trip... WMIII. I was looking forward to it so damn much it was driving me crazy that it was still so far away. Then... I hurt my knee. I knew that would be a setback, and it was quite a downer knowing that I wouldn't be able to prepare nearly as well as I would have been able to had I not been injured... but I was still somewhat optimistic. We had a whole new plan for hitting the peak, which basically took a lot of difficulty out of the actual peak day, and spread it out over 3 days. What a plan! Then... Aaron dropped out. I could live with that, but it was still sucky... he was one of the originals, and it would have been cool for us to all be able to do it. Then... Lan and I had to get insurance for the new cars and it was considerably more than we expected, so our trip money disappeared... let alone money for the gear we still needed. OK, so Jarr said he'd chip in and make sure that money didn't hold me back from going on our trip. Then... the final blow... I have to work that weekend. Boom, no more trip. Though it looks like it was a culmination of many things that led up to my inability to go, it really was just that last one. The only good thing, I think, is that all the other obstacles that presented themselves over the past month just made it easier to accept the resolution... no WMIII. Damn. Now it will probably have to wait until Spring '04.